Hulk: July 2010 Archives

I am burnt out on all this social networking—didn’t Prince just say that it’s all passé now?.  Facebook and Twitter seem to have one purpose, which is to sell you products via direct targeted marketing.  I’ve deactivated my Facebook, but keep my Twitter account going, because of one man: DRUNK HULK!  I always get a chuckle when I see one of his tweets.  Drunk Hulk slings off one liners as easily as Steven Wright.

Here are a few choice examples.  For instance, the ongoing saga of Bristol Palin:

BRISTOL AND LEVI BACK TOGETHER! DRUNK HULK NO BE THIS UPSET ABOUT REUNION SINCE STEPHENIE MEYER REUNITE WITH TYPEWRITER!

ARGENTINA MAKE GAY MARRIAGE LEGAL! LEVI AND BRISTOL MAKE JOKE OF MARRIAGE IN AMERICA! ONE STEP FORWARD! TWO STEP BACK!

Oh yes, Drunk Hulk always types with CAPS ON!  On Mel Gibson:

DRUNK HULK BET MEL GIBSON WISH HE MAKE SEX TAPE LIKE OTHER CELEBRITY DO INSTEAD!

On the Sixth Sense / Last Airbender Director’s career:

DRUNK HULK JUST FIGURE OUT TWIST! M NIGHT SHYMALAN CAREER WAS DEAD WHOLE TIME!

On Kristen Stewart’s acting—appropriately, I read this after watching Adventureland:

DRUNK HULK LIKE KRISTEN STEWART! SHE METHOD ACTOR! SHE NO EVER BREAK CHARACTER! SHE ACT MISERABLE ALL TIME! THAT COMMITMENT!

On the economy:

TEEN EXPERIENCE WORST SUMMER JOB MARKET IN 41 YEAR! OH NO! NOW WHO WILL TREAT DRUNK HULK CONDESCENDING AT THE STARBUCK

On this year’s summer movies:

SUMMER MOVIE SEASON AWFUL! DRUNK HULK MOVIE SUMMER USUAL FEEL LIKE VAN HALEN! AND THIS YEAR SAMMY HAGAR TOOK OVER!

A cool idea for an amusement part for adults—which also reveals the fact that Drunk Hulk is literate:

HARRY POTTER PARK AT UNIVERSAL SUCCESS! DRUNK HULK HOPE THEY DO HENRY MILLER TROPIC OF CANCER PARK NEXT!

Looking back at Drunk Hulk’s younger days:

DRUNK HULK PRETEND BE BACK IN COLLEGE! FIRST LISTEN TO BEST OF BOB MARLEY! DRINK LOT! AND THEN BE LESBIAN FOR SIX MONTH!

NEW APPLE PRODUCT! A-TEAM! KARATE KID IN CINEMA! ALL DRUNK HULK NEED IS WHAM AND WHERE BEEF! AND IT 1984 ALL OVER AGAIN!

If I were Marvel, I’d hire this guy to write a Drunk Hulk TV show.  Hey, it worked for Shit My Dad Says.  Nuff Said!

Link:  Drunk Hulk Interview on Cover Stories.

In the back of the newly re-launched Avengers titles, Brian Bendis is writing an Oral History of the Avengers.  Sort of a documentary approach to the Avengers history--what if every person connected with the team was interviewed?  It's very interesting, and somewhat controversial.  Best of all, this backup allows Marvel to showcase some great covers and illustrations from the past, including Art Adams covers to the Avengers Classics reprint series.

These illustrations are from Avengers Classics #1-3, showcasing the Hulk on cover, when he was briefly part of the team.  Here the Space Phantom impersonates the Hulk and attacks Thor, Iron Man, Ant-Man and the Wasp.  Which ticked off everyone to no end and made for the Hulk's early exit.  Iron Man is still in his "bucket-head" early armor, while Hank Pym upgraded himself from Ant-Man to Giant-Man.

The Hulk didn't go quietly--in the third issue he teamed up with Namor the Sub-Mariner to fight the Avengers.  Iron Man gets a new suit of armor--my favorite--with the pointed tips of the mask rising above his head.  I bought Randy Bowen's statue of this armor and I love it.

I really thought the Hulk was a lot fun in the Avengers.  He's a walking gamma bomb of chaos and unpredictability.  As Tony Stark says in the Oral History, "He was like a big, big, big dog on a leash.  Just take the muzzle off and let him loose."  It wasn't until The Defenders that we got the thrill of seeing the Hulk in a regular team book.

With all these new Avengers teams, Marvel tries to think out of the box and put in characters like Spider-Man and Wolverine that were previously off limits.  It looks like Wolverine and Hawkeye are pulling double duty on two teams.  Why not recruit the Hulk?  Nuff Said.