Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Nick Fury, Nixon, and Femme Force One!

Step into the shoes of Nick Fury, leader of S.H.I.E.L.D.

You’ve got thousands of agents, Helicarriers that constantly seem to fall from the sky, Life Model Decoys, and lots of super-gadgets to pay for.  Who pays for that?  Tax-paying True Believers!  And once in a while, Nick Fury has gotta do something great to show our government how these well these billions are actually spent.

In 1971 (Captain America #144), Fury gave President Richard Nixon, Vice President Spiro Agnew, and Secretary of Defense Melvin Laird this little show.

Captain America 144, hey Nixon here's Femme Force One

Presenting the newest S.H.I.E.L.D. squad, Femme Force One!  Led by Sharon Carter, Captain America’s girlfriend.  It’s her big chance to prove that women are as valuable to S.H.I.E.L.D. as men, in their skintight super-suits.  Diamondback was never this ambitious.

Captain America 144, Femme Force One attacks Hydra

It sure doesn’t hurt that John Romita drew Femme Force One.  Right on, Sisters!  These girls look like supermodels! It only lasted for two panels, but it made me forget about the Femizons for a while.  Keep in mind, the Wonderbra had not been invented at this point in time.  Right on Sisters!

Captain America 144, Nixon explains Congress

Nixon’s grinning from ear to ear, but he makes one thing perfectly clear to Fury, by explaining how the government really works.  I really didn’t like Nixon after reading this—he’s treating Fury like a high school dropout!  Basically by the time this proposal makes it through all stages of government, Nixon’s out of office and it’s dropped like a hot potato.

Captain America 144, Nixon's pals love Femme Force

Defense Secretary Melvin Laird also insults Nick Fury in this panel.  You can see why these guys lost the war in Vietnam, they are totally ignoring the dude who saved our bacon time after time.  Spiro Agnew, however, appears to be so sexually excited that he is speechless!  What a horndog he appears to be, grinning from ear to ear.  Hopefully these images were a comfort to Agnew after he resigned in disgrace.

I wonder if Quentin Tarentino read this issue of Captain America?  Uma Thurman makes a reference to a fictitious TV show called “Fem Force Five”. 

I’ll bet anything that John Romita voted for George McGovern.  Nuff said.

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